Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Dateline Washington, D.C. -
Congress today sent Iraq Bill to Bush for signing. Yes, it seems that Iraq Bob's brother Bill broke his leg while firing off one of those rocket-propelled grenades the other day. The US military snatched him up, set the broken bone, and has had him detained at an undisclosed location in Baghdad for the past week.
The military has been unsure what to do with Bill, whose full name is Mohammed Mohammed Akhmed Mohammed Billinski (from his Polish mother) bin al Hashish (from his Afghan father). When a congressional delegation arrived yesterday to do a firsthand appraisal of the situation in Iraq (enroute to some sun and fun in Tahiti), the military thought it might be a good idea to ask these congressfolks what should be done with Bill. They replied "We don't know; take it up with Bush."
The military promptly complied. For the next eight hours, they placed Baghdad Bill out back behind a bush while over a hundred military guys lined up from the bush to the barracks to take a crack at signing the cast. We're not sure what the cast (or Bill for that matter) will look like when these guys get through with the signing. But we do know that if Baghdad Bill ever decides to write a book, he has a leg up (so to speak) on his book tour: he can tell Barnes and Noble that he has had some definite experience with a signing.