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Friday, June 04, 2004

Tenant Resigns! 

Dateline Rock, MI -

George, a tenant at the University of Southern Northern Michigan's off-campus housing--officially known as Runnynose Estates--abruptly kicked the cat over the balcony and resigned yesterday as an occupant of the modestly divey apartment complex.

Citing family concerns, tenant George, or just plain George (the tenant), stated in eloquent (though highly alliterated) prose that he just plain thought it was time to quit and maybe move to the Rock, MI suburbs for a quieter life.

Dr. Heney Keur, owner and onsite manager of Runnynose Estates, said he was sad to see George the tenant leave, though he fully understood George's concerns. There are rumors that Heney pleasantly but firmly persuaded George (otherwise known as the tenant) to leave, for the good of the apartment complex. It seems that the tenant, George, has been making late night phone calls to the Pentagon in Washington offering to lead those nice folks to WMD that he is sure are concealed in the old mines near Hancock, MI. Rumor has it that Donald Rumsfeld has been on the phone repeatedly to his good friend Heney Keur in an effort to have Heney "get rid of this jerk George the tenant." According to sources, Rumsfeld doesn't want some "backwoods hick of an a filthy apartment dweller" (that would be George) getting credit for the discovery of the WMD.

Rummy himself plans to make a high profile trip to Hancock, MI in the very near future. Stay tuned for the details of that trip.

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