Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Today’s lesson in history: How it really happened.
Yankee Doodle came to town,
Riding on a pony.
Stuck a feather in his hat,
And called it macaroni.
This song doesn’t really tell the whole story. It was not a feather that young Mr. Doodle stuck in his hat. Rather, it was a grilled cheese sandwich.
You see, Yankee Doodle was inexperienced in riding a pony. He had to keep both hands on the reins at all times to maintain control of the otherwise indomitable beast. One morning, while struggling with his pony and trying to hang onto a grilled cheese sandwich at the same time, Doodle decided to stow the sandwich in his hat, the most convenient place at hand. He then confidently rode into town, whereupon he was greeted by townsfolk waving large chucks of spiral-shaped pasta—macaroni. Doodle was reminded by this gesture that he was indeed famished, and his own lunch resided close by, in his hat. He grabbed one of the large macaronis from the crowd, stuck it in his cap and pulled down the grilled cheese sandwich—and then had lunch on the spot!
Afterward, he proceeded to the town square, hat in hand, having invented none less than the venerable macaroni and cheese!
And that, boys and girls, is how it really happened.
Yankee Doodle came to town,
Riding on a pony.
Stuck a feather in his hat,
And called it macaroni.
This song doesn’t really tell the whole story. It was not a feather that young Mr. Doodle stuck in his hat. Rather, it was a grilled cheese sandwich.
You see, Yankee Doodle was inexperienced in riding a pony. He had to keep both hands on the reins at all times to maintain control of the otherwise indomitable beast. One morning, while struggling with his pony and trying to hang onto a grilled cheese sandwich at the same time, Doodle decided to stow the sandwich in his hat, the most convenient place at hand. He then confidently rode into town, whereupon he was greeted by townsfolk waving large chucks of spiral-shaped pasta—macaroni. Doodle was reminded by this gesture that he was indeed famished, and his own lunch resided close by, in his hat. He grabbed one of the large macaronis from the crowd, stuck it in his cap and pulled down the grilled cheese sandwich—and then had lunch on the spot!
Afterward, he proceeded to the town square, hat in hand, having invented none less than the venerable macaroni and cheese!
And that, boys and girls, is how it really happened.
An Understanding of the Origins of Cinco de Mayo
An Understanding of
the Origins of Cinco de Mayo
By Heney Keur, Ph.D.,
P.E., M.O.U.S.E.
I have been asked by certain persons to explain the origins
of Cinco de Mayo. These “persons” are, incidentally, the same persons referred
to by Matt Lauer when he states, “Some people say . . .” and then continues on
to interrogate the victim, er . . . I mean, interview the guest.
So the following is a compendium of my heavily researched
study of the origins of this great excuse to eat real Mexican food.
Now, first came Uno, which is some of the best-eat’n pizza
in the world;
Next came dos, which is how you take your medicine on a
regular schedule;
Then we have tres, which is what you did while holding your hand on purple construction paper back in kindergarten;
Next we have Cuatro, who was, of course, the Great Plains Indian chief.
Finally, we arrive at Cinco de Mayo, which is a particular Mexican delicacy noted for the heavy use of mayonnaise.
So you see, Cinco de Mayo originated when the great Chief
Cuatro sat down one evening to eat a take-out Uno’s pizza. Just as he was about to take the first bite,
he remembered that he forgot to take his medicine. So he excused himself from the table and went
into the medicine man’s tepee. While
there, he saw a drawing of the medicine man’s young son’s hand, which the boy
had drawn on purple construction paper earlier that day. Chief Cuatro was amused, and he returned to
the table, pondering the meaning of it all.
When he sat down, he found that the last piece of pizza had been
consumed by none other than the medicine man’s boy. Whereupon he walked into the kitchen looking
for something to eat, as it appeared pizza was no longer on the evening’s menu. He noticed a certain cornmeal concoction, a
delicacy imported recently from Mexico. It was sitting on a plate near the sink
(cinco, in Spanish). He picked it up,
slathered a little mayonnaise on it, and—voila!—Cinco de Mayo was born! The great Chief Cuatro became famous as the
inventor of Cinco de Mayo, though he never really did figure out the meaning of
it all, and he wasn’t even Mexican.
