Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Bin Laden Video Tape Surfaces
Dateline, South Bend -
A video tape purportedly rented by Osama Bin Laden has recently turned up at the Blockbuster in South Bend, Indiana, according to the Jazeera brothers, Al and Bill.
Photo of the actual Bin Laden Video -
"Death to America" inscribed on the back
Bill and Al Jazeera, owners and operators of Jazeera's Allah Akhbar Videos and Roadside Mosque in rural Southbend (located kiddy corner across the street from the big Amish meeting barn), report that they found the tape in the overnight return bin as they opened their store and mosque this morning.
According to Bill, "We were just about ready to begin our morning prayers toward Cleveland (same general direction as Mecca) when Al noticed that a mysterious looking tape had been returned overnight. It was strange that there was no standard movie title sticker on the tape, but only the words 'Death to America' inscribed by one of those jewelry engraving tools or a dremel tool or ice pick or something."
Bill continued, "Curiousity got the best of Al and he put the tape in the VCR to see what was on it. It turns out that it was an old Mary Poppins tape that had been out since 1988. We checked and found out that it was rented by Osama Bin Laden back in 1988 when he was in town to see about buying an Amish dining room set (everyone appreciates quality, and a wonderful hand-crafted maple Amish dining room set would be a great addition to any cave dwelling). It seems Bin Laden is a huge Dick Van Dyke fan, as he had also rented several Dick Van Dyke show tapes during that trip, according to our records. Well, we were glad to get the tape back after all that time even without the late fee."
Actual photo of empty video box
found in the parking lot - It's not
sure whether or not this box is
connected with the Bin Laden tape
According to Bill, however, there was another surprise in the return bin upon closer inspection. It seems that there was a note from bin Laden apologizing for being so late with the return. He left his American Express card number where the Jazeera's can bill the late fees, and also his satellite phone number and GPS coordinates just in case they need to reach him. Al said it best, "It's refreshing for a change to see an honest terrorist. Kind of renews your faith in the whole anarchy thing."
A video tape purportedly rented by Osama Bin Laden has recently turned up at the Blockbuster in South Bend, Indiana, according to the Jazeera brothers, Al and Bill.
Photo of the actual Bin Laden Video -
"Death to America" inscribed on the back
Bill and Al Jazeera, owners and operators of Jazeera's Allah Akhbar Videos and Roadside Mosque in rural Southbend (located kiddy corner across the street from the big Amish meeting barn), report that they found the tape in the overnight return bin as they opened their store and mosque this morning.
According to Bill, "We were just about ready to begin our morning prayers toward Cleveland (same general direction as Mecca) when Al noticed that a mysterious looking tape had been returned overnight. It was strange that there was no standard movie title sticker on the tape, but only the words 'Death to America' inscribed by one of those jewelry engraving tools or a dremel tool or ice pick or something."
Bill continued, "Curiousity got the best of Al and he put the tape in the VCR to see what was on it. It turns out that it was an old Mary Poppins tape that had been out since 1988. We checked and found out that it was rented by Osama Bin Laden back in 1988 when he was in town to see about buying an Amish dining room set (everyone appreciates quality, and a wonderful hand-crafted maple Amish dining room set would be a great addition to any cave dwelling). It seems Bin Laden is a huge Dick Van Dyke fan, as he had also rented several Dick Van Dyke show tapes during that trip, according to our records. Well, we were glad to get the tape back after all that time even without the late fee."
Actual photo of empty video box
found in the parking lot - It's not
sure whether or not this box is
connected with the Bin Laden tape
According to Bill, however, there was another surprise in the return bin upon closer inspection. It seems that there was a note from bin Laden apologizing for being so late with the return. He left his American Express card number where the Jazeera's can bill the late fees, and also his satellite phone number and GPS coordinates just in case they need to reach him. Al said it best, "It's refreshing for a change to see an honest terrorist. Kind of renews your faith in the whole anarchy thing."
