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Thursday, May 05, 2005

Al Gore Captures al-Quida No. 3 Man 

Dateline - Islamibad, Pakistan

Al Gore single-handedly and with a great exhibition of strength and courage captured the number three man in the al-Quida chain of command, it was reported today by Al Gore.

Gore reports that he flew to Pakistan last week, and impersonating a muslim cleric (he grew his beard out again) he got all the inside poop on Abu Farraj (Mitch) al-Libbi.

"It was easy," stated Gore. "Not much to it at all, just like I invented the internet. Once I found out that Mitch (the terrorist guy) was staying at the Holiday Inn Express in Islamabad, I waited in the bushes (bush . . . I hate that word) and jumped him. I wrang his neck. I didn't touch his face, so I don't know how he got those marks that look like someone beat the crap out of him."

Gore, who is currently writing a new book detailing how he invented the cell phone system, says that he hopes to mush a dogsled to the north pole real soon where he is going to establish a long wave radio antenna to send signals to Dan Rather. More on that story soon.

Gore on Leno

Al Gore on Leno showing how
he grapped Mitch al-Libbi,
al-Quida's number three guy

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