Thursday, September 08, 2005
Heney Arrives In Kenya!
Installment 2 - read installment 1 (previous article) first.
In route to New Orleans from Australia via Chile, Heney Keur's Australian military transport apparently overshot South America today, landing instead in Niarobi, Kenya. Heney called us at Snooze Central via his Verizon cellphone (which worked perfectly . . . we could hear him now) to report that he figured something was amiss when they had to clear giraffes from the runway before allowing his plane to land. Once Heney hit the tarmac, John Howard was seen back in Australia washing his hands of the whole mess.
Heney immediately headed to the American Consulate but was taken hostage along the way by Muslim extremists looking for a good time. They offered to take his head off for him, but Heney declined the offer, gave them each a karate chop and a Bible, and continued on his way.
The American Consulate said that they could put Heney on the first military transport back to the United States. However, since his last experience with a U.S. military aircraft put him in Indonesia, Heney—thinking that the Muslim offer might be the better of the two—declined this offer as well. Instead, Heney commandeered a old yellow piper cub from the Nairobi airport, cleared the giraffes again, and headed back for the good ole US of A. He figured he could stop in Libya to refuel, and at the same time settle an old score with Khadaffi. It seems that back in the 80's Khadaffi rented a camel to Heney so he could cross the desert to get to a book signing at a Barnes and Nobles in Cairo the next day. Well, as fortune would have it, the camel broke down along the way, and AAA-Libya would not come help him fix the problem or bring him a new camel. Heney always thought that Khadaffi had staged this breakdown and left him stranded because Heney's book represented competition for Khadaffi who recently published his own book, a biography titled simply, "Khadaffi--My Wives And Times." But we digress.
Anyway, as we write, Heney is somewhere over central Africa winging his way toward Tripoli. He packed a couple of peanut butter sandwiches and some goat's milk, so we hope he's good until at least suppertime. More to follow.
Heney Keur boarding his
newly acquired Piper Cub in Nairobi
