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Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Heney Keur Gains Release Of 15 British Hostages 

Dateline Tehran -

Iranian chief thug ahmeda . . . ahkeme . . . er, head towelhead whatshisname has agreed to the release of the 15 British hostages that have been employed for propaganda purposes for the last couple of weeks. Sources say (don't you love that phrase) that at the behest of the British government, Heney made a back door diplomatic trip (which is to say he went by way of raft from Miami to Havana, and then on to Venezuela where Chavez flew him on to Mentally Ill Kim in North Korea; from there he took a direct flight via Korean Air hang gliders to Tehran).

It is reported that the Terrorist-In-Chief ahme-whatshisname received him with full Islamic diplomatic honors (he threatened to remove Heney's head). Whereupon Heney assured the chief clown with the big nose and hairpiece that the British hostages must be released within 24 hours or he would promptly see to it that Iran is bombed back to the stone age (which isn't really too far back considering the way these people live). Furthermore, he stated that Mohammad's mother wears army boots. There was a noticable quiver in Amadeus's (whatever his name is) lip and he quickly said, "Well, okey-dokey then. Hey, you wanna go out and toss some hand-grenades with me after lunch?"

Heney would have stayed around for the grenade-tossing (he could have taken out the whole Republic Guard in an afternoon), but he had pressing business in France--something about pulling Chirac's nose out of a conspicuous location. So Heney quickly boarded a French naval vessel (a converted 1970's Bayliner) for the trip to France.

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